The Madman's Speech
by Tim Madigan
The following article is from the Secular
Humanist Bulletin, Volume 11, Number 4.
Mad Again
Recently a subscriber sent me a few pages from MAD magazine. It had
been many years since I'd seen this particular publication. During my grammar school days
I had read it (if you'll pardon the expression) religiously, but I had long since put away
childish things.
The excerpt in question was entitled "The Academy for the Radical Religious Right
Course Catalogue," and featured dead-on caricatures of Pat Robertson, Phyllis
Schlafly, Donald Wildmon, Ralph Reed and the other usual suspects (MAD
has always been noted for its outstanding art work). The article begins:
"Funda-Mental Institution Department: Why do members of the radical religious right
think the way they do? Are they born like that? Did they have a bad accident as a child? A
tragic love affair that soured them on the world? The answer is: none of the above! You
have to be taught to be so self-righteous and narrow-minded! It takes years of schooling
at a highly specialized learning institution! And we've managed to get our grimy little
hands on a brochure for such a place." The piece then gives examples of the core
curriculum, such as "Philosophy 101 - The Trap of Thinking: This introductory course
examines the secular humanism that has infected our culture as demonstrated by rock music,
PG-13 rated movies and `Gilligan's Island' reruns (which depict several unmarried men and
women alone on a desert island) . . . All enrollees are invited to a special seminar in
which the seemingly contradictory theses of supporting capital punishment while fighting
to protect the lives of the unborn are empirically justified." There are also
hilarious cartoons of House Speaker Newt Gingrich making a surprise appearance at the
Academy, hanging Big Bird in effigy, and Pat Robertson wielding the bible in one hand and
a wad of money in the other, "speaking on the theological connection between
donations and salvation."
This is hard-hitting stuff. I had forgotten just how explicit and unrelenting the
satire in MAD could be. But what should one expect from a magazine that
proudly bills itself as offering "humor in a jugular vein"? Reading this parody
caused me to reconsider the influence MAD must have had on my own
worldview. While I like to credit my coming into humanism (and my falling out of
Catholicism) to reading such sources as James Joyce, Friedrich Nietzsche and Jean-Paul
Sartre, in hindsight it would appear that my voracious explorations of MAD
during my parochial school days primed the pump for my apostasy. In MAD,
one can truly say that nothing is sacred. This message must have sunk into the deep
recesses of my psyche - even as I sat through catechism and confirmation classes, my MAD
collection was never far from my side.
If you are interested in knowing more about this wacky and wicked publication, I
recommend the book Completely Mad: A History Of The Comic Book And Magazine
by Maria Reidelbach (Little, Brown and Company, 1991). Many of the examples given in the
work demonstrate MAD's irreverent take on religion, such as its
"Religion in America Primer" in issue #153: "The Priest: This is a Catholic
priest. His church believes in many things. It believes in miracles. The priest helps
Catholics in time of need. He helps them solve business problems, even though he has never
been in business. He helps them solve marriage problems, even though he has never been
married. He helps them solve sexual problems, even though he has never had sex. Now you
know why the Catholic Church believes in miracles!" But the magazine has doesn't only
poke fun at Catholicism - it skewers all denominations.
The guiding genius behind MAD was its founder and long-time publisher,
the late William M. Gaines. I was not surprised to read in Reidelbach's book that Gaines
was an explicit atheist. Gaines may well have been one of the most influential
freethinkers of all time - his magazine has always been in the forefront of giving the
raspberry to dogmatism wherever it appears. He should take his rightful place in the
pantheon of humanist heroes, although I'm sure his first act would be to slip a whoopy
cushion under Voltaire's seat. Gaines' motto was "don't take anything too
seriously", including satire itself.
Just to prove that MAD is continuing in its non-inspirational ways, I
picked up the October 1995 premier issue of Big Bad Mad: A Collection Of Classic
Out-Of-Print Mad Paperback Insanity Not Seen In Years! (Big Deal!). It contains a
parody of the film Ghostbusters II, and in one panel a priest accosts the Bill
Murray character and states "As clergymen, we're against people believing in
fantastic nonsense like supernatural superstition", to which Murray replies:
"Yeah. You want people to believe in everyday stuff like Noah and the Ark, Jonah and
the Whale, and talking serpents with apples!"
So the next time organized religion and superstition has you down, don't get even
— get MAD.
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