Free Inquiry Sidelines
The following articles are from Free Inquiry
magazine, Volume 19, Number 4.
FUNNIER THAN A BARREL
OF MORMONS
by Erin Vaughn
The recently published volume of Mormon jokes, "Best Loved
Humor of the LDS [Latter Day Saints] People," has been making waves among the more
pious members of the Mormon community. The book includes such raucous jocularities as
"How are bishops chosen? Answer: The leaders find the most righteous person in the
ward-and then they call her husband."
by Chris Mooney
Arkansas Republican Senator Tim Hutchinson, a Southern Baptist
minister, has called the breakdown of the American family one of the nation's greatest
problems. Hutchinson recently filed for divorce.
by Austin Dacey
When a custodian found a consecrated host on the floor of
Ascension of Our Lord Church, Father Benny Piovan placed it in holy water to dissolve. He
soon discovered a strange growth on the host. At the request of the archdiocese, a DNA
analysis was conducted. Apparently the host grew "mold or fungus" but did not
turn into human flesh.
by Chris Mooney
Some born-again Christians have recently taken to tattooing
themselves to cement their relationships with Jesus. Members of the newly formed Christian
Tattoo Association say that having Christ's image imprinted on their flesh helps their
faith. One tattooed evangelical commented: "Usually, I pray about it before I get a
new tattoo. I'm just waiting on the Lord now to see if he wants me to get another
one."
by Gabriel Carlson
The symptoms are unmistakable. After spending time in Jerusalem,
victims are overcome by delusions of being biblical characters, scream psalms at
passers-by, and run about dressed like shepherds in bedsheets from their hotels. Dr. Yair
Barel, who has named the mental condition "Jerusalem Syndrome," treats sufferers
with a few tranquilizers and calls home. He predicts that about 40,000 millennial pilgrims
might suffer from religious delusions, although other sources place the figure much
higher.
by Gabriel Carlson
According to residents of the remote Japanese town of Shingo, the
New Testament is more fallible than many Christians believe. Shingo inhabitants claim that
their town is the site of Christ's true burial, insisting that it was not Jesus who died
on the cross but his little-known half-brother. The true Jesus, they maintain, fled across
Siberia and the Sea of Japan, changed his name to Daitenku Taro Jurai, married a local
woman, and fathered three girls before dying naturally at the age of 106.
by Gabriel Carlson
Former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell (Geri Spice) was recently
blasted by the Catholic Church for her promotion of contraceptive use in the Philippines.
Working as a UN goodwill ambassador, Halliwell told residents of Manila that everyone
deserves to have control of their lives, including "control over your
fertility." According to Monsignor Pedro Quitorio, spokesman for the Catholic Bishop
Conference of the Philippines, sending Haliwell to the predominantly Catholic nation was
like "sending Salman Rushdie as an ambassador of goodwill to a Muslim country."
by Derek Araujo
Robin Hood was gay, says Stephen Knight, professor of English
literature at Cardiff University. After studying 14th-century ballads, Knight concluded
that 16th-century authors added Maid Marian to straighten out the famous outlaw. Knight is
confident in his reasoning in part because the ballads' "references to arrows,
quivers, and swords make it clear."
by Amanda Chesworth
New Agers, Rock-n-Rollers, and Neo-Druids had themselves a rumble to
celebrate the summer solstice this year. The battle took place at Stonehenge in Salisbury,
England, and was fought between those who wished to perform sacred rituals, hold a music
concert, and use the ancient monolith as a backdrop for the latest in four-wheel drives.
Fortunately no large rocks were thrown.
Send interesting news items and tidbits to Sidelines, Free Inquiry, P.O.
Box 664, Amherst, NY 14226-0644, or e-mail to: aszalanski@centerforinquiry.net.
| 
Subscribe to Free Inquiry 
Order Free Inquiry Back Issues 
Free Inquiry Home Page 
Council for Secular Humanism Web Site