Hope Springs Eternal

A recent survey asked Americans who they thought was likely to go to heaven. In reverse order: only 19% thought O.J. Simpson would make it, 40% think Newt Gingrich is heavenbound, and 47% back Pat Robertson. Believe it or not, 52% think Bill Clinton will get past the pearly gates, 65% back the saintly Oprah Winfrey, and 79% believed Mother Teresa was a shoo-in. But guess who was top of the polls to get into Heaven: 87% of those surveyed believed they themselves would make it. Perhaps the pollster should have reminded them that pride is considered a sin.

Jesus Will Save You from Aliens!

A church group at the University of Texas at Austin is promoting Christian faith as the best way to avoid abduction by aliens. At a campus meeting of the Calvary Chapel group, it was claimed that only nonChristians were forcefully abducted by aliens. Church member Frank Dorian stated, "We believe that if you want to stop smoking, get rid of vices or get rid of the pesky aliens, you need to find God."

Robertson Advocates Stoning UFO Believers

The secularist newsletter Freedom Writer reports another bizarre and frightening pronouncement from Pat Robertson. On a July 8, 1997, broadcast of "The 700 Club," Robertson launched into a diatribe against people who believe in aliens. In a rambling discourse, he claimed that if UFOs exist they are simply demons trying to lead people away from Christ: "Can a demon appear as a slanty-eyed funny-looking creature? Of course he can." Robertson quoted scripture (Deuteronomy 17:2-5 NKJV) demanding that anyone who follows demons should be put to death by stoning. (Personally I think he got it the wrong way 'round: it's not that people should get stoned because they see UFOs, but that people see UFOs because they get stoned.)

According to a 1996 survey by Newsday, 48% of Americans believe UFOs are real, and 29% believe we've made contact with aliens. Another 48% think there's a government conspiracy to cover it all up.