By Tom Flynn, Adapted from a 1995 article available online at here; originally published as “Thank God I’m an Atheist” in the Secular Humanist Bulletin, Fall 1995.
My mother died in 1995. She was Catholic; though she had suicided, there still followed the whole conventional round of open-casket viewing, a memorial service at the funeral home, the funeral Mass, and a graveside service.
At Mass, the priest endlessly conjured images of my mother in heaven. The mourners, mostly Catholic, seemed to draw comfort from the repeated denials of the reality that lay before them—a life snuffed out, consciousness and memories and emotion and cognition annihilated, a pattern that had danced inside one skull for sixty-four years but never would again. No, the priest assured them, none of that was as it seemed.
Somewhere behind my own immediate sorrow, I pitied those believers who were using their faith to do anything but deal with death. Believers say secular humanists live in a harsh, sterile world without hope. Yet I never heard anything more profoundly hopeless than the litany of dishonesties that passed for “comfort” at that Catholic funeral.
People of faith often warned me, “Wait till you’re having difficulties in your life. Then you’ll see that secular humanism isn’t enough.” Secular humanism not only sustained me through the loss of my mother; I believe it enabled me to deal with her death more authentically than the believers around me.
Because I didn’t believe in God, I didn’t need to wonder why my mother had more than her share of suffering in life. Because I didn’t assume that the universe has an author who cares about our welfare, I could confront life’s unfairness on its own terms. Because I disbelieved in immortality, I knew that my mother’s passing was final. On the downside, I could deflect no pain by pretending I’d see her again. On the upside, with no fantasies to hide behind, I had to dive in and cope with reality.
Unbelief did far more than just get me through. It got me through better.
CFI SUMMIT
OCTOBER 24-27 2013
TACOMA, WASHINGTON
Joint Conference of the Council for Secular Humanism, Center for Inquiry, and Committee for Skeptical Inquiry
The transnational secular humanist magazine
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